Lionel Messi is better than everyone else

The atomic flea has been detonated all over the soccer award circuit. Yes sports fans it has been decreed that argentine international and part time Steve Nash impersonator, Lionel Messi, has swept up all the honors and accolades that one can bestow on a professional soccer player including FIFA world player of the year, and the Ballon d’Or which is a honour given by the French magazine, France Football. While the French magazine might have been tempted to hand the prize over to Thierry Henry, who in last month’s World Cup qualifier heroically swatted the ball with his hand into the path of William Gallas, a Chelsea reject, to eliminate the unlucky Irish lads who now have to settle with the consolation prize of a summer full of beating their wives and shagging their sheep. You cannot really argue with the selection of Messi, I can’t think of any player more deserving. It’s a shame he’s coached by Maradona in the national team, but as the Argentine FA would say, it’s always good to give the most responsibility to the person known to snort the most cocaine. If as I expect the Argentineans get knocked out relatively early next summer, the diminutive Messi could not reclaim his spot atop soccer’s throne. The honours this next December will be given to the person who demonstrates over seven games that they were the best player in a tournament that only lasts seven games. From January until the end of May and again from August until November performances that can win team titles and trophies will no longer need apply. Instead whichever team lifts the next World Cup can rest assured that their most valuable player will be taking home all the hardware that Messi has claimed this year. It is my great hope that next summer Didier Drogba can score seven or more goals and go on to lead the Ivory Coast to glory. In that case I would have won a bang load of money and wouldn’t even care who won the player of the year honours. After all soccer is a team sport and individual honours mean next to naught when it comes to what fans really care about, sex.