Stick it up your ass

What ever happened to the football chant? As a football fan I pride myself that unlike other sports, our spectatours can burst into song containing ample wit and sense of occasion. Thanks to vuvuzela, the most pleasurable part of any big match, the ambient sounds of the crowd, has been inverted into an assault on good taste. It was my dream to go to this year's World Cup, but after having watched most of this week's matches I am so thankful that I didn't. The vuvuzela could be the most annoying invention since the pop-up internet ad. At least after wading through the countless barrage of pop-ups, you could see some doctored photos of the Olson twins. In case you don't know what a vuvuzela is, they are what the South African populace uses to signal to police they are being robbed, which needless to say is quite frequently. In a twisted turn of events some asshole thought it would be a good idea to paint their panic horns in team colours, and sell them to spectatours who in turn could blast them constantly while watching the footy match. Imagine spending $2,000 dollars to fly out to South Africa this summer another $2,000 on hotels, and even more money on food beer, narcotics, and match tickets only to find your self sitting next to some doucher, sounding like a 230 lb. wasp. I think in that case I should be able to stab the motherfucker, the irony would be that his police signal would be muted out by all the other assclowns in attendance at the stadium.